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2018 Goal Setting Tips

Lori Mak
Dec 28, 2017
2 min read

Tip 1: Make sure your goals are attainable.

Your goals should only be there to simply better yourself, and make you happier. Hard work is not fun sometimes, but if you find that your New Years Resolutions are making you miserable, maybe you should consider modifying to something simpler. Remember that there is a big difference between pushing yourself, and beating yourself up. Sometimes former and current victims of abuse get the feeling that they are never good enough, and so they set unrealistically high expectations, hurting themselves in the end. In my experience I have pushed myself too far, and set unbelievably unrealistic goals, that ended up causing me to always put myself down inside, and that’s not healthy.

Tip 2: Make sure your goals do not revolve around someone else.

If your goals revolve around impressing someone or getting them to like you more, I highly recommend you cross that off your list. Abuse victims can feel an urging need to be validated, as they are/were constantly put down, although I believe the feeling of needing to be validated applies to everyone sometimes. In the past I have felt underestimated by an individual, and made the faux pas of making one of my New Years goals to change their mind about me. The truth is, you can not control other people’s feelings, nor the way they think. All you can do is strive to be the best version of yourself, and accept that not everyone will think highly of you in life.

Tip 3: Sometimes vague goals are better

Ex 1. “Exercise more” vs Ex 2. “Workout six times a week in 2-hour increments.”

While some people may be able to follow the Ex 2 goal, for others it’s more likely for them to successfully follow goal Ex 1. When a goal is specific like Ex 2, it is obviously harder to follow exactly. That can feel more discouraging for some people and make them feel like giving up. So, really think it over when before setting BIG specific goals. Ask yourself, will it encourage or discourage you?

Tip 4: Consider writing a simple list

Some people like to go for the big detailed goals and that’s okay. This is like tip 1, and 3, but remember that for others, the feeling of success is better for them emotionally, and feels more motivating, than a complicated set of goals that ain’t nobody got time for.

Tip 5: Be patient, laugh and enjoy

You may have trouble following your new goal, especially at first. It is okay. You are human. Humans are not perfect. Remember that just because you are struggling to follow a list you wrote in attempts to better yourself, does not mean you do not have the right to enjoy yourself. Everyone deserves to be happy including you. Laugh off your struggles, be patient, try your best, and have fun!

Tip 6: You do you.

Choose to do whatever you feel suits you, and own it, be it simple goals, complex goals, or no goals.